84kilos

I knocked off 100k running for the month last night. Yay! Next time I'll try not to leave 30/100k until the last 3 days. Though now I know I can run 30k in 3 days. Coastal Five is seeming within my grasp.  Feeling good this morning and it's a beautiful spring day.

Too many tasks to do, so I had to work a plan so I didn't forget anything. With  ✅️ bag packed and crosschecked against my list ✅️ car keys ✅️ gym card (nearly left on dining room table right beside the car keys) ✅️ ear buds (left in the car yesterday along with wallet) ✅️ wallet (put in my bag not my pocket which caused panic at the bus stop) ❌️ forgot to weigh myself.  Oh well. Did not get any of the two important tasks done over the weekend but it was good nonetheless. Does it matter? I don't think so. For "selling the car" I need a smaller set of tasks to do in the evening. Let's start with cutting and polishing the door. I can do that in 60 minutes. Yes  Almost completed my running goal, IF I run 10k tonight. Angela dragged me gently out to Eastbourne which was great - if not for her it would have been unachievable. Now I have to follow through. It should be a good day today. Let's make sure of it!

Back from 87.9kg to 89kg in two days. I got this. I know what's happening and I can trust the process. In a fairly good mood this morning. I've got urgent dramatic tasks to do this morning so that should keep me focussed. I've got a couple of life admin things to knock off at lunch time. And the weekend will be busy! Keep focussed, keep productive. 

500 calories of sushi and chicken for afternoon tea. I was still hungry (maybe 6/10) after dinner and found myself to tj katsu. Would I do that again? Yes. I was hungry, more so than being able to ride it out for a long run and late dinner. Alternatives? Carrots to munch on, need a bag of carrots at work. And now? A chicken wrap for dinner wheen I get home around 7.

Out of the house with no breakfast! Strong black coffee will have to do. I will have a margies egg sandwich and make myself overnight oats every evening. Yesterday i felt ineffective at work. Trying to get a task done that I didn't want to do I was constantly distracted.  I will plan my day today with do / be / need - and see if that helps.  Back late last night after a successful architect forum. Where I faced my nemesis - the overcatered buffet - with aplomb. A few bits of healthily prepared pizza, salmon on rye, and some delicious chicken bites. I guessed 700cal, it might have been higher but not by much. Angela back and buzzing from her adventures.  In a good mood this morning, let's see what the day brings. Q4 goal setting and a difficult conversation with a programme manager.   

87.9! There's an 87 on my scales. 200g difference only but it's psychologically delightful. Turns out I eat half the protein I should. I've got some chicken out to boil. (Did I say that already?) Angela is home today! Can't wait to see her. I hope the house is tidy enough for her. In a good mood and off to an extra gym session. 10k run tomorrow. Goals are working for me right now. 

Well, that makes me happy! A work colleague took my passport photo, he took it from the waist up. The camera adds five pounds they say, this photo def showed the ten pounds that has to go. Incrementally and sustainably. I'm relearning good habits. Noom and chatGPT are telling me I'm not eating enough calories and definitely not eating enough protein. Time to boil up some chicken breast.  Sally and Andrew came round on sunday and made me realise I've not booked Christmas accommodation or travel which stressed me. I went from ignoring it to hyperfocussing on it last night. Sorted. Urgent stuff done, things I don't know on the list to discuss with Angela. Also passports renewed. I can get this stuff done as long as I attach urgency and drama.  Goals for the week? Keep working through my todo list. run every day. Weigh daily and log food. It's great being busy. It's now 10:20am and I've got not a lot done. I'm hungry a...

Angela was amazing.  Supporting her was fun. Do what I'm told. Keep out of the way. Look for jobs to do. Fit into the group dynamic.  Oh! The flight home! Worst (or best?) turbulence in a jet ever. The other passengers were screaming. I was grinning ear to ear. Much cheaper and much more fun than a theme park roller coaster. Back and home alone on a rainy Monday morning, feeling pretty good and off to the gym. I lost no weight over the weekend in spite of carefully calorie restricting. Oh well. Keep on keeping on.  What are my goals this week? I have no idea. I'll add to this at work. I do have to run every day to make my 100k month. Big running weekend to come, 10k and 5k is the minimum. 

At the t2 transition, awaiting angela and team to change from bikes to orienteering and then back to biking. Awesome! What's my mood? Good! My job is to stay out of the way and do what I'm told. Hanging out with Col and Tony, we're the pit crew. It's so gorgeous down here in Queenstown and the Rees valley. Good for my soul. I do drink a lot of coffee though. Stimming the self medicated way! 

Work: get ctrm task done (incl regular murray catch ups). Talk to Matt about integrated strategies. Noom: weigh and log every day (except this weekend when I'll need to be intuitive). I will not drink this month.  ADHD: Nothing specific.  Next week: come up with weekly goals before Thursday!

I've got three things to focus on from now. Lose weight - I can't breathe when I run! I need to get from 90kg to 84.9kg by November for the Coastal Five event. Running - until I lose weight it will be hard and I have to suck that up. Dunedin half was hard and I can't be in that shape in November. I need to run 100kg in September and get my forest Gump 500mi in a year back on track. Work - I have to work with my new mentor to make a success of my new job. With a 12 month window to be effective in a strategic leadership role. ADHD - This is the main reason for this journal. I need to prep for my psychiatrist appointment to get the maximum value out of it and ensure Dr Raj has all the info he needs. If i get medication i need to understand my moods and responses to it so I can tune the meds and the dose. I also need to understand my wins and my learnings so I become a more effective person using andADHD lense to understand myself. OK that was 4 things. 

  10 hours sleep wasn't enough After nearly 10 hours sleep I feel exhausted and I'm just staring at my screen. I'm not sure why!  Something's not right today. I feel like I should have techniques to overcome this but I don't. Time for a fifth coffee, that'll be what helps. 

Monday: I just couldn't get out of bed. I not only missed gym, I had to uber to work to get there on time.  Left my swipe card on the printer and lost it.  Forgot my headphones so my running plan was derailed.  I forgot to clean up my hot desk somehow and left my stuff scattered about overnight. Tuesday I forgot the car booking and had to walk home to get it. Late for work again.  My adhd coach says I need to celebrate my wins. I'll let you know when I have some. 

With a different purpose this time. Well, I have physical goals. I'm 90kg and I need to be 85kg. I'm not running enough and I have two major events coming up. But ... all of a sudden I have an adhd diagnosis from a psychologist with a psychiatric followup in six weeks. Gah!  The process has been transactional and sudden, and stemmed from discovering the right pathway and keystrokes through my work EAP system.  I've thought that logging my thoughts and feelings from now to then would be useful. Plus it gives me something to do on the bus.